Benjamin's Park Memorial Chapel

What you should know about attending a funeral

The Jewish funeral ritual is a time-honoured tradition designed to take leave of the dead in a sensitive, dignified, respectful, and timely manner. It is the foundation on which the process of mourning is built. A chapel service provides the necessary environment for family and friends to share their grief, to confront the realities of death and to celebrate the achievements of life.

Jewish tradition deems attending both the funeral and burial services to be a mitzvah, a religious obligation. Jews are required, whenever possible, to accompany the dead to the cemetery and to participate in the burial. Because of the limited time available between death and burial, we recommend subscribing to our email notices for updates on funeral schedules.

The burial tradition began as a Family responsibility, reflecting the importance of Family. Over time, friends and neighbours came to help in the form of a burial association, a sacred society, called a Chevra Kadisha. This has endured as the centre of the tradition for millennia.

The Benjamin’s Chevra Kadisha is under the leadership of Rabbi Uri Gelman and operates in our Chapel. Benjamin’s has been tending to Toronto's Jewish deceased since 1922. It is the longest continuous Chevra Kadisha in Toronto and includes members from most of the nations who comprise Toronto's Jewish community.

In the Jewish tradition, the focus of the funeral is on the body, not the Family. The Family becomes the focus once the burial has been completed.

If you are not familiar with Jewish tradition, we hope the following information will make you feel more comfortable as you support your friends at this sad time.

In the Jewish tradition, we do not send flowers to comfort the bereaved. Rather, we make a donation to a worthy cause in the name of the deceased, to honour their memory. Often, the Family will specify a charity of choice.

Many families establish a memorial fund in the name of the deceased through The Benjamin Foundation. If it is the named charity, you can make a donation through this website. Click here to make a donation online.

The Funeral is the foundation on which the process of mourning is built. The Jewish Funeral provides the necessary environment for Family and friends to share their grief, to confront the realities of death and to celebrate the achievements of life.

Attendance

ARRIVING AT THE CHAPEL

Chapel

Parking

The Chapel is located three lights west of Dufferin, at the southwest corner of Steeles Avenue and Alness Street. When you turn into our lot, you can drop off your passengers right at the chapel door. Our facility is wheelchair accessible. Our doorman will direct you to continue driving left past the chapel entry to the large parking lot behind the chapel. If you will be attending the burial at the cemetery, the parking attendant will affix a funeral sign to the hood of your car. Handicapped parking is available.

Cohanim

We offer a private room for Cohanim, built as an independent structure. Windows open into the chapel and there is a speaker system. Cohanim can feel part of the service while respecting their obligations. The Cohanim room is reached through a separate entrance at the west side of the parking lot.

INSIDE THE CHAPEL FOYER

You enter the Chapel foyer from the north of the Chapel building (Steeles side). Washrooms (wheelchair accessible) are conveniently located in this area. From the foyer, you will enter one of our two Chapels. Attendants will direct you to the correct Chapel.

Kippahs (or yarmulkes), the skull caps worn by Jewish men to demonstrate their humility before G-d, will be available in the foyer. All men attending a funeral (whether Jewish or not) are asked to put one on before entering the funeral chapel. For women who choose, head covers are available.

Kriah or tearing a garment in grief is an ancient practice of tearing clothes or a black ribbon as a tangible expression of grief and anger in the face of death. If a black ribbon is used, the Funeral Director provides it. It is usually done at the funeral home before the funeral service begins. Kriah is always performed standing. The act of standing shows strength at a time of grief. A cut is made on the left side of the clothing for parents—over the heart—and on the right side for all other relatives.

The torn garment or ribbon is worn during the seven days of Shiva but not on Shabbat and Holy Days.

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INSIDE THE CHAPEL

Large Chapel

When you enter, the casket will be at the front of the chapel, attended by a shomer. Shomers are observant Jewish men who sit with the body from time of death until the funeral, reciting psalms to protect and comfort the spirit of the deceased.

At Jewish funerals, there is no public viewing of the body. According to Jewish law, it would be deemed to be disrespectful.

The funeral service

A Jewish funeral service is quite brief, between 15 to 20 minutes. The service is usually presided over by a rabbi, accompanied by a cantor. There are three parts to the service:

An opening psalm is chanted by the cantor.
The eulogy is delivered by the rabbi and/or family and friends.
The service concludes with the memorial prayer chanted by the cantor.

The focus of the service is honouring the life of the deceased.

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TO THE CEMETERY

The funeral procession

One of the 613 Mitzvot, or commandments, of Judaism is an obligation to accompany the dead to burial. This not only shows honour and respect for the person who died, but brings comfort and support to the survivors.

After the service, our staff will organize the funeral procession of cars, with the hearse and family limousines at the lead. Other cars following will have had a funeral sign affixed to their hoods when they arrived at the Chapel. While waiting for the procession to leave, you can obtain additional information from Benjamin's broadcast channel, by tuning your car's FM dial to 96.5. We offer a list of Jewish cemeteries and maps to each, some with designated sections.

You will be requested to put on your high beams and four-way flashers. If there is a police escort for the procession, obey the police officers. Should you come to an unsupervised intersection, please obey all traffic laws. It is illegal to proceed through a red light unless there is a police officer directing you to do so.

There may, at times, be additional Benjamin’s vehicles within the procession to guide you en route to the Cemetery. Please keep within the procession rather than attempt to catch up to the group of cars in front.

Graveside

You will be directed by Benjamin’s staff to park your car and to assemble behind the family limousine, so that the family and the casket can proceed to the grave first. You will then be directed to follow.

The casket will be lowered into the grave. At the graveside, the cantor will recite a psalm. Depending on the family wishes, you may be invited to help fill in the grave. The family will recite the Kaddish. The rabbi may make a brief address and the memorial prayer will be recited again. A temporary marker is then placed on the grave which remains in place until the permanent monument is unveiled at a later time.

Leaving the cemetery

After the burial, the family will walk between two lines formed by the community which offers a message of comfort, a custom originating in the time of the first and second Temples in Jerusalem: "HaMakom yenachem et'chem b'toch she'ar avelei Tzion vi'Yerushlayim" - "May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."

At that moment, there is a dramatic shift in attention from the body to the survivors. A period of mourning begins called Shiva. It is usually located at a family home. It is usual for an announcement of time and place to be made after the burial. For more about this, visit Mourning.

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Arranging a Funeral Attending a Funeral Mourning Benjamin's Park Memorial Chapel